


A Fragment This Time

by BuriedDreams



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gentle Kissing, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loneliness, Muteness, Neck Kissing, Non-Canon Relationship, Non-Consensual Kissing, Physical Abuse, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-23 07:10:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23907733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuriedDreams/pseuds/BuriedDreams
Summary: After enabling her country to commit unspeakable horrors Micah fled her military life. Incidentally, She and scar perform two halves of human transmutation with the wall of Xerxes as the entry point through alternate times. Scar attempts to sacrifice himself hoping to cease existing which paid the toll for her deconstruction. Nothing is free however and while Scar paid the toll to get open the gate Micah still must pay for them both to cross it. Upon crossing through she accidentally left his gate open.
Relationships: Gracia Hughes/Maes Hughes, Riza Hawkeye & Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang, Zolf J. Kimblee/Original Character(s), Zolf J. Kimblee/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	1. The Breakers and the Broken

**Author's Note:**

> NO FMA Characters just yet. They start appearing in the second chapter!
> 
> This is a retelling of events in the Full Metal Alchemist universe but it diverges because it follows an Original Character and not the Elric Brothers -don't worry we do see most of the characters. I apologize in advance because this story will probably end up way in left-field as far as plot deviations go. 
> 
> **Since this takes place on the FMA map the Modernday countries relate to the FMA ones as follows:  
> Amestris = Germany, Xing = China, Drachma = Russia, Creta = Greece, Ishval = Israel, Xerxes = Syria, and Aerugo = Italy**
> 
> -Nameless Ishvalan is Scar-

Pain radiates down her arm but she can't be bothered to give it any real notice. The rhythmic buzzing of the tattoo gun doing nothing to sooth any of the lingering thoughts.  
She thinks to herself _"this is what I need. I need the hurt..."_ . It will never be enough though. Micah watches as the delicate black loops of Reconstruction array form heavy welts along her left arm knowing that even when the swelling dissipates the design will be permanent -the black lines etched into the skin reminding like scars that she helped etch upon the earth. Behind her eyes a constant replay of the massacre. With every high-pitched keen the machine emits she hears the whistling of ordnance falling. With every throb from her arm arm she can feel the vibrations as buildings crumble. When the tattoo artist moves his lips she doesn't hear him over the screams of the innocent in her mind...  
  
 _"_... _Micah! Micah are you alright?!"_

She finally takes notice of the lack of sensation where the pain should be. The artists had stopped work. He is speaking words to hide his fear though his tone betrays him.   
  
_" You get sick and i'll charge you double what I was going to! You better not keel over! Military personnel are supposed to be the strongest of us.. Fucking hell Micah-"  
  
"Ex-Military" _She gently corrected him while offering assurances and prompting him to continue. Apologizing for spacing and just as quickly becoming once again lost in her thoughts. Reluctantly he resumes his work. 

Micah contemplates how she came to be here. 'Ex-military' tasting like ash on her tongue. Thinking back to how she willingly loaded ordnance she'd helped create onto a fresh squadron of fighters and the smell of sulphur on the wind that was to follow from the destruction. The scent of the flesh it burned causing eyes to water. Micahhad been hailed hero and thought as much. That was before before she saw more than she was supposed to. She'd stood no more than 48 hours ago along the back of the command room with bated breath as the Superiors name died on her lips. Her eyes widening to better perceive the carnage on the displays as listening in horror while the men spoke...  
  
 _"Can you believe that the top just let us destroy the place? I guess they figured why just stop with a few known terrorist groups"_ One voice mused. 

_"...they ran like the animals they are. After the initial drop we made sure we killed all the women and their spawn lest they grow up like the men they were created from"_ rumbled the gruff voice of the Commander. The same voice that assured her only days earlier that they'd be 'saving millions' and the 'quicker we take out these criminals the quicker those people can live in peace'. One week after the military formally requisitioned her services her designs had been finalized. Micah had personally helped load the bombs. 16 hours later an entire nation was set ablaze.  
  
All she can think of is how simple it was to back out into the hall; unseen by all as they watched the displays and laughed raucously. They never even knew she was there and now they knew she was gone. Driving home without taking in any details of the trip and thankful she had the foresight to stop to pull all of the money from her accounts. She pulled every last cent she had been paid for her 'honor'. Stripping off the wrinkled military uniform at the threshold of her apartment and leaving the discarded items they fell she stumbled to the shower. She stood under the icy torrent willing herself to feel anything. The only thing she felt was the clippers rasping against her scalp and a numbness settling into her chest. She watched as the white locks fell to the floor and forced herself to admired the new crop in the mirror. When dressing she opted for a pair of jeans and a simple loose shirt, giving one last look at her androgynous form in the mirror before she turned off the lights. Micah exited her apartment but opted to leave the keys and cell phone inside knowing that she doesn't plan to return. Trusting a full-face helmet to hide her identity she gunned it to the airport. The tail lights of the motorcycle the last thing anyone would ever see of her. The flight attendants greeting her false smiles when she boarded the jet bound for Tel Aviv. It was the closest she could get to Syria due to the destruction.   
  
Thats how Micah came to be wandering the streets of Tel Aviv and in one of its rare tattoo shops -thankfully run by an acquaintance. Hours pass but she soon has her own arm dedicated to reconstruction. A display for all who know the myths of Alchemy that they are looking at a wish. Thanking the artist as the door clicks shut Micah keeps her goal in mind. The next destination is Damascus. 

  
  



	2. The Exhausted and the Restless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scar is wandering the desert lost and hurting reflecting on his actions. He lost control and killed two Amestrian doctors. He has his brothers arm and nothing left to live for. He contemplates the will of Ishvala.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Scars perspective. I apologize if this is confusing. It takes place right after he wakes up and kills the Rockbells. It is important that i portray scar accidentaly committing human transmutation on himself with no understanding of Alchemy since it will help explain how my OC Micah travels there from her time where Alchemy is mythological -think of Xerxes as modern Atlantis since it disappeared in a single night-

The nameless man opens his eyes and sees an unmistakeable flash of blue. His breathing is shallow and his heart is racing. His vision swims as he searches for his brother.   
  
_"Brother!"_ He tries to shout the word only for it to exit dry and weakly from between his lips. His mouth tastes like blood and the air is thick with the smell. His vision fades out.

  
  
Pain radiates down his right shoulder pulling at him and he hears a voice.   
  
_"... rip sutures! Careful you aren't ready to move yet but you must but be gentle about it! They are coming and we have to leave here!  
  
_ His eyes open and his vision centers on a pair of blue eyes on a feminine face. Amestrian eyes. His chest tightens painfully. Where is he?!  
  
 _"Where is my brother? BROTHER!?"_ he shouts. 

The woman pulls at his arm again and his eyes follow down resting on the thick swooping lines of his brothers tattoo right where his own unblemished skin should be. He bolts upright and grabs the woman by her jaw. A crackle and a flash illuminating the blood as it drips from his palm to the floor...  
  
  


Scar awakens with a jolt drenched in sweat. He wonders if it will always be like this. If he will forever be plagued with the images of that woman's skull unraveling in his brothers hand -his hand. He rests back against the stone wall of the Xerxian ruins that still display a fresco from the past; His gaze coming to rests on the intricate tattoo he now bears. He has committed unspeakable crimes in the name of Ishvala while these markings remove him from any grace he may have known. He thinks back to his brothers explanation when he was first shown the markings.

* * *

_**  
**_  
  
_"Brother what have you done!"_ he asks with a shaking voice. " _How can you mark your skin which is a gift from Ishvala with that Amestrian heresy?!".  
  
_ _"Amestrian and Xingese actually"_ his sibling corrects. His brother holds out his arms. _"This one"_ he gestures to the left _"contains a combined array signifying Reconstruction and as such represents the flow energy so as to give new shape to it. This one"_ he states gesturing to the right _"signifies Deconstruction to break down materials into a more malleable state. By fusing arrays from both Alchemy and Alkahestry I will be able to achieve quite the result! I will be able to use my body the third point of a triangle ultimately funneling a simultaneous balance between both the phases of Reconstruction and Deconstruction which would then yield in a neutral state!"  
  
_

" _Brother! Stop this! How can you be so excited while boldly defying the will of Ishvala?"_ Scar asks. Only for his elder sibling to become increasingly fanatical.  
  
 _"Don't you see?!"_ his brother exclaims _"this is the will of Ishvala! if I use my body as a point on the triangle to balance energy into a neutral state then I can halt Alchemy. I can stop the destruction caused by the Crimson Alchemist! All I have to do is get close enough to touch him.."_

The last part of his brothers sentence is spoken quietly, almost reverently, but not in fear.   
  
  


* * *

_**  
  
**_Scar shakes himself out of his flashback and the bitterness it left behind. That was the last conversation they shared before his brother went to confront the Crimson Alchemist. Everything after that is a blur. He is angry with himself for remembering that heresy but something sticks out to him about his brothers words as they echo in his mind... ' _Destruction... Balance..._ '. Scar wonders what would happen if there isn't any balance and the Idea comes to him. Ending his life has crossed his mind since he murdered the Amestrian doctors but it is a sin against Ishvala and he has not yet sank so low. What would happen if he should try to deconstruct himself? Certainly he would simply cease to be and not actually die and that would be alright.  
  
He sits up straight pressing his back against the sun-warmed stone of the wall -the only thing left standing in this ruined city- and places his palm against his temple offering one final prayer to Ishvala before he simply wishes to no longer exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment any suggestions. I apologize if this is hard to read


	3. Fragments of the Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Micah visits the ruins of Damascus hoping that witnessing the wreckage firsthand will be the beginning of her redemption. Unknown to Micah is that the ruins of modern day Damascus were built over the foundation of the mythical city of Xerxes from long ago when it was reclaimed. Meanwhile, Scar accidentally performs human transmutation through the deconstruction phase by using himself as a sacrifice as he leans across the great wall of Xerxes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clarify -Micah is from modern times as we know it today where Alchemy is mainly myth and theory. Xerxes is a thought of like we think of the Lost City of Atlantis which also disappeared overnight.

Micah had finally arrived at the ruins. The smell of smoke thick in her nose and the occasional grains of sand sharp in her mouth. The air is hot and brittle and breathing in brings no relief to her cracked lips. She finds herself coming to rest at the one place which remains standing in the city -a wall with faded but rich imagery. This wall is one of the few landmarks that whips scholars into a frenzy when discussing the Lost City of Xerxes.   
  
_"It's ridiculous that they think Xerxes existed. How does a city disappear without a trace in a single night?"_ she wonders aloud. Agreeing that it's far more likely that Alchemy existed at one point and that Xerxes was just a gathering of those who used it. Much like a Church isn't really a single building but rather a collection of people.  
  
That was the argument after all between Certified historians and Alchemical scholars regarding Xerxes' fabled existence. Alchemy is like chemistry but with variances on how reality is perceived. There is only one difference between them: There are no tangible results like with chemistry. Regardless it was the distinct pattern on this wall and two others in surrounding countries that Scholars used as their source of argument. They argued that while chemistry has a distinct origin in Greece, Alchemy had two areas in both China and Germany that place Syria in center therefore making Alchemy more widespread. Whereas chemistry spread slowly in comparison with only minor advances clearly Alchemy must be the lost art and far superior to that of simple chemistry...  
  
Micah loses herself in deep thoughts but eventually her feet stop shuffling forward. She's come to visit the destruction she had a hand in. Settling before the wall and leaning against it her knees hugging to chest her frame rattles from the sharp heaving the sobs fade into. Micah presses her hands to her temple and wishes she could reconstruct into something worthy so this city never had to be one of her victims.   
  
Static rolls across her skin and with a flash of light she feels nothing...  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  


He opens his eyes expecting darkness but is nearly blinded by how bright everything is. ' _Or rather how bright nothing is'_ he notes to himself while taking in the endless expanse before him. He looks around surprised to find behind him a great stone door where the wall he rested against once was. 

_"Where am I?"_ he breathes softly as he stares at the gate.   
  
_"That question has many answers and you are not prepared to pay a price for each of them. Perhaps settle on something simpler like 'what state am I?' since your goal was to deconstruct yourself after all."  
  
_ The voice sounds like thousand whispers at once sending chills down his spine as he turns around to meet its source. Encountering a being that should be comforting it its human-esque appearance but is very wrong all the same. The lines around it seem to blur every time he tries to focus and he is tempted to squint but he knows it will not help. There are no eyes to accompany a wide smile but you know that it sees you.   
  
_"Deconstruction...?"_ his mouth forms the words as he looks down at his body only to witness it slowly coming together in small fragments at a time. Scar may be a stranger to alchemy but he knows this is wrong. _"I should no longer exist! Explain this!"_ he demands of the entity.   
  
The voice says cryptically. _"Now that would't be fair to others before you who once sought that knowledge."  
  
_ Scar hesitates. _"Are you Ishvala come to judge me?"_ He asks still watching himself take form. _  
  
"Not in the sense you believe. I am many things and nothing all at once. Many know me as Truth"  
  
  
_ Scar hesitates before speaking _"...You would give the truth so freely to others?"  
  
_

 _"Certainly you know nothing from me is given freely? Whats your payment? Did you intend to offer your own body-"  
  
  
"I have given my body and I ask for nothing in return!" _Scar interjects angrily.  
  
Chuckling maliciously Truth approaches Scar and suddenly he feels very nervous.  
  
 _"Now whats this? You're not even trying to get your body back are you? How arrogantly human to believe I would want something for nothing! Thats what you've paid you know? Nothing!"_ Truth laughs manically. _"Don't worry though i'll remedy that! There is another who knocks at the door and will even the balance you are so willing to pay!"  
  
  
  
_ Scar sinks to his knees with his face in his hands. _"I must stay here! I don't want to return!"  
  
_ Truth stalks closer and in a whisper simply states _"don't worry. You won't. Here at least. You've asked for nothing so thats what you'll receive. The other-"_ Truth gestures to the door where Scar can hear muffled voices _"-will receive what you wished for: A lack of existence that you paid for. How wonderful! Don't worry though. I will take your memory of this place since you've not exchanged anything for it."  
  
_ With those final chilling words the last fragment of Scars body connects and he screams.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose the name 'Micah' because from Hebrew it means "Who is like God" and I found it appropriate because I want to write the relationship between Truth and Micah like that of the relationship between Truth and Edward since we won't be following the Elric brothers in this work.


	4. Unspeakable Sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth is angry that Scar has not offered to balance the bargain correctly since he tried to sacrifice his whole body in exchange for 'nothing'. The principals of equivalent exchange are met however when on the other side of his gate Micah converses with Truth.

Time seems to halt as Micah watches fragments of yourself fuse together. Red static intermittently sparking from her frame. A thought crosses her mind - nearly gone as soon as it entered. _'I wonder if this is what alchemy was like if it ever actually was'._ Finally, her gaze shifts to the endless white expanse. Realizing she could feel something pressed against her back she stands encountering what appears to be a set of large stone doors and gasps. Covered in varying symbolism for God the doors seem to draw her closer. Certainly there is nothing that could tear anyones vision away from such a display. The muffled sounds of someone shouting drift from the door as she places both palms against its front.   
  
_"Well aren't you going to knock? It seems rude to just enter it you know"  
  
  
_ It was a voice of endless whispers all seamlessly working together yet still managing to sound separate. A voice that seemed to move across Micah's skin leaving gooseflesh in its wake. Franticly she turns to search from where the voice came.  
  
 _"Behind you"_ The voice spoke causing her to turn back towards the doors in alarm where a figure emerges from between them. This figure may have appeared human but the lack of eyes and wide grin were unsettling enough to show that it wasn't.   
  
_"What are you?"_ The question springs from Micah's lips before she can reclaim it.  
  
 _"Are you sure thats the right question you should be asking?"_ the being parrots.  
  
 _"Well seeing as I have already asked, it seems rude not to answer"_ Micah replies in kind. Choosing to echo the same lesson in etiquette back.  
  
 _"I am so glad you asked! I am called by many names! I am the world. I am the Universe. I am God. I am the Truth. I am all..."_ replies the voice. _"Your world knows no Alchemy. Your Universe knows no God but even you know balance...."  
  
"Balance...?" _She asks.   
  
  
_"Equivalent exchange. I take it you're here to reclaim yourself? Just how do you plan on pulling an entire human out of here?"_ Truth questions her.   
  
Searching for Truths gaze Micah knows she has it even though there are no eyes. _"Reclaim myself?_ _No_." Gesturing to her tattooed arm and elaborating further. _"I_ _would never wish to reclaim me as I was. Simply to Reconstruct myself if allowed".  
_  
A mirthless laugh bursts forth from Truth. _"Human arrogance! My favorite kind! You stand here because of equivalent exchange and think you have a choice? Another dared to knock on the door and now the door has opened. Will you enter it? Think carefully now!"  
_  
With even breaths Micah relaxes her shoulders. Taking but a moment to think before replying. _"I will enter the door another has so graciously opened."  
  
  
_ Truth stalks around sizing her up. _"Are you willing to pay the price? Just because the door has opened doesn't mean passage is free."_

 _  
_ _"Yes!"_ She states. _"If only so I lay bare my sins and have them pass judgement."  
  
_ Truth reaches forward and places a hand on each one of her shoulders with fingers digging into the flesh they encounter. _"Human Arrogance"_ Truth repeats wistfully. _"_ _You didn't even ask if you could afford the price."_

As the last word is spoken Truth pushes Micah through the door. All Micah knows is the agony in her shoulders as the air is pulled from her lungs.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to borrow some dialogue from when Edward met Truth. I am hoping that I captured how he speaks and that this read wasnt too horrid for anyone.


	5. Past Path and Bleeding Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scar awoke from his collapse against the wall unknowing of all that transpired. He sees a figure on the ground injured and discovers a woman of Ishvalan descent. Realizing that he can't remember meeting her and isn't sure what happened it dawns on Scar that he must be to blame for her injuries. When he heard footsteps approaching and he flees the scene ashamed of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who are reading I am sorry its a short chapter but I didn't want to lump Scars wake up and Micah's in the same one. Stay tuned for the appearance of one lovely Maes Hughes in the next chapter :)

With muscles shaking from exertion and a heart slamming against his ribs he rests. Pausing only for a moment before the sounds of shouts meet his ears. Once again arms pumping and feet slamming down to carry his body further forward.

Ducking into one of the many ruined buildings Scar takes a moment to collect himself. Forcing even breaths he thinks _"I need to calm down. My master would be ashamed to see me running scared like a rabbit from a pack of dogs"._ But that is exactly the type of situation Scar is in. He may not be a rabbit but he is running from the military's dogs all the same. The last thing he remembers is collapsing against a wall in the sun and offering a prayer to Ishvala before nothingness took him. _"Thats what I get for running through the sun for so long".  
  
_ Scar wipes the perspiration from his brow noting how few the droplets are. _"When did I last have water?"_ He muses. _"It must have been sometime before-"._ That is as far as Scar gets before his memory is assaulted with images of the two Amestrian doctors caring for him. Before he killed them with his newfound Alchemy. Pushing those thoughts aside he dwells on another more recent matter of when he awoke from against the wall.   
  
He had opened his eyes -cringing under the intensity of the sun and sat upright. Thinking that he must have collapsed from his prior injuries he had glanced around at the blood splattered by him. Concern blooming as he noticed a man beside him. Taking stock of himself and shuffling over to peer down at the person, he had to correct himself. There was not a man beside him -but a woman- with sharp features and long lashes. He wouldn't have known based on how slight her frame was or how she was dressed. He had noticed immediately though that she wore her hair closely shaven. White stubble where thick locks once would have been betraying her Ishvalan heritage. He remembers wondering if she had shaved it to make it easier to flee the war. The clothing she wore was also not of Ishvalan origin and definitely not the starched uniform of the Amestrian military. He reached down to check for breathing only to forget the task as he noticed the blood that pooled across her shoulders.   
  
Scar knew that there was enough blood to be concerned and had carelessly moved the fabric to inspect. Immediately he wished he hadn't when he saw the two distinct handprints burned through the fabric of her shirt and into the skin. He had thought aloud then. _"I wonder what happened. It's too clean to be anything other than Alchemy..."_ Breath catching as the last word crossed his lips and Slowly looking at his palms. They looked clean but they were also clean when he murdered those doctors. His breaths had come rapidly then as the panic set in. He couldn't remember meeting her. What if like the doctors he had also hurt her blindly?! Scar knows that he must truly be a monster to injure one of his kin like this. _"This is not my fault!! T_ _his is because of Alchemy! Those Amestrians brought their Alchemy here and look what it wrought. I Swear to you Ishvala, I will make every last alchemist suffer your wrath"_ Scar had screamed in frustration. Upon quieting he heard it then -the telling shift of sand as someone adjusted their steps- and ashamed of himself he had fled.   
  
  



	6. The Thoughts That Scald

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Micah awakens with her face pressed against the sand and a person holding her down. Her mind is fuzzy until Major Roy Mustang cauterizes the wounds on her shoulders. Shortly after meeting Captain Maes Hughes and Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye she is told that she will either be escorted to the medical tent to treat her injuries by her choice or by force. Choosing to go with the Lieutenant, she starts to realize something the Major said doesn't make sense and remembers her interaction with Truth before giving into unconsciousness caused by her injuries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Micah met Mustang and of course he acted like a dick. He really isn't a bad guy. He is just ashamed that once again he had to scar up another womans back with his alchemy (looking at Riza here).

_"My body is so heavy...Why is it so hard to breathe...Breathe... I can't breathe!"_ Micah thinks to herself. A weight is pressing into her back making it impossible to take in more than the bare minimum of oxygen keeping her mind fuzzy. Through the haze she can just barely make out voices speaking.  
  
 _"Hold her now Hughes. She may be unconscious now but what I'm about to do wont let it stay that way"_ States a cold voice.  
  
 _"Sir, a_ _re_ _you sure this is necessary? Speaking from experience the pain-"_ A woman says unable to finish the sentence before she is forcefully interrupted by the man from before.  
  
 _"Lieutenant!"_ he says before continuing more gently _"You know that it's necessary or otherwise I wouldn't do it. This is the only way to stop the bleeding..."_ Micah's eyes fly open as she's brought back to reality from the searing heat against her shoulders. Her mouth open in a silent scream as she writhes away from the pain. Her arms are trapped by someone holding her down. Just as it seems the agony will never end and her mind will submit to unconsciousness the burning stops.   
  
  
She lays there panting. Face against the sand only momentarily before realizing she can breathe. The quick gasps taking oxygen as forcefully as her body will allow. Subconsciously Micah knows she is hyperventilating but is too thankful for the oxygen to care.   
  
Micah pushes her self up and feels a tightening twinge in her shoulders followed by a white-hot agony that causes her to sway as she stands. Arms grab her before she can fall.  
  
 _"Careful there now miss, the bleeding may have stopped but the wounds are still pretty serious"._ Micah turns to look up into the face of the person who steadied her. The man was slightly taller then her dressed in a dark blue uniform she'd never seen before. His sharp features were a contrast from his gentle manner with dark hair and glasses that did nothing to cover his weary eyes . _'Who is this guy and what country does that uniform belong to...'_ She wonders. Micah only just now starts to take in her surroundings. There are two others in the same blue uniforms -a man and a woman- and also notices the blood splatters around her. Once she's steady the man releases and continues. _"I am Captain Maes Hughes but just Hughes is fine. We need you to come with us for medical attention and of course we have some questions-"  
  
_ _"Captain Hughes thats enough!"_ cuts the cold voice. _"We don't know who she is or where she came from but I plan to get those answers."_ He directs his following statements to Micah. _"I understand if things are confusing for you now. I am State Alchemist Major Mustang. You will be accompanying us back to the medical tent either by force or as a guest. The choice may be yours but know that the outcome will be the same."  
_  
Major Mustang watches silently awaiting an answer. Micah opens her mouth to reply but no words will come so instead simply nods.   
  
  
_"Lieutenant,_ _Please help our guest back to the medical tent, Captain Hughes and I will continue our patrol."_ The man called Mustang commands, not waiting to see the smart salute and following 'Sir' the Lieutenant returns before walking away.   
  
_"Please excuse him, his manners are lacking. I am Riza Hawkeye"_ states the Lieutenant. Stopping to stare at Micah expecting a return introduction and receiving only wary silence. Sighing she continues. _"I can understand why you don't trust me but the war is over now. You have nothing to fear from me for your Ishvalan heritage and the Major was trying to help but he hates what he did -having to cauterize your wounds like that."  
_  
Micah ponders on this information for a moment. _' Ishvalan? Don't they mean Israeli... So_ _that was what happened to my shoulders... Those wounds must have happened when Truth touched me... Wait! Did that guy say he's a 'State Alchemist' ? Alchemy isn't real!'._ Micah blinks slowly as the sinking realization hits her that something is very wrong. She remembers her interaction with the being called Truth. Micah feels her knees give as her vision goes out. ' _Wait that was real?! He said my passage wasn't free.. Where am I?! What was the price...'_ These are Her final thought before Micah succumbs to unconsciousness.


	7. Screaming In Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Micah awakes again in the endless white expanse and can't find the gate. She looks around to question 'Truth' only to learn that she can't. Micah finds out exactly what the price was for her to cross through the gate and that she is foolish for not making sure she could afford the cost. After receiving medical assistance from Lieutenant Hawkeye she is questioned by Major Mustang about her sudden appearance and injuries. Micah learns about the Ishvalan conflict and starts to piece together where she is. Mustang figures out that Micah is part of a human transmutation even if she doesn't know it and decides to use this information to his advantage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to those that left Kudos and Comments: THANK YOU!!! You all have given me the confidence to write and post another chapter! I hope this was alright and not too terrible.

Micah finds herself back in the endless white expanse from before. Looking around for a way and noting that the stone gate is missing. _"I don't understand...why am I here again? Where is the gate? Where is 'Truth"_ she thinks. 

_"Behind you human. Always behind you, you're too far ahead of yourself and your mind can't keep up."_

_  
_Turning to face the voice and ready for answers she begins to ask what she is doing back here -stopping when she realizes no sound comes from her question. Desperately she tries again and feels her chest tighten incrementally with each mouthed syllable. Micah panics -attempting to scream but the sound will not come. Even knowing that each effort to speak is making it worse she continues. What was only uncomfortable tightness in her chest is now fire in her lungs.

 _"You are a glutton for punishment you know. How very human of you to try and demand an answer before it can be given. I know exactly what you want if you would just wait a moment. Or you can continue..."_ states Truth, tone dripping with condescension. 

Eventually Micah calms. She notes that when she stops trying to speak the burning in her chest lessens. She sighs and looks at Truth in exasperation.

_"I told you the passage wasn't free and how arrogantly you agree'd to my price. You requested two things; to reconstruct yourself and to pass through the gate. I gave you both."_

Micah continues to stare at Truth silently pleading with her eyes for it to continue. She doesn't have to wait for long.

_"You wanted to reconstruct yourself. I gave you that. As the price I took something you wanted -to tell others your sins."_

She grabs at her throat and mouths out her thoughts in fear. _"My voice..."_

 _"The other wish you had was to pass through the gate. Even though another paid the price to open it you still needed to pay for passage -equivalent exchange is wonderful isn't it? Your exchange was the guilt you held on your shoulders. Quite the bargain isn't it? Now you don't even have to feel guilty about not being able to share."_ Truth cackles mirthlessly ignoring her state of growing duress. 

Micah thinks back on how calm she's been even though she should be horrified. She tries to think back to how she felt when she first came to the void, about how desperate she was to escape the pressing guilt that seemed to weigh on her from every angle. Though she can recall the events that transpired there is nothing more than a cold sense of detachment surrounding them. 

_"My guilt. I should feel bad about what I have done but I don't. What kind of monster does that make me?"_ Micah thinks. 

_"Knowing you should feel bad and actually feeling that way are very different. I bet you think you a monster now don't you? Most humans are when they don't have their guilt to tell them to behave otherwise. What matters is what you'll do now. Will you be a monster? "_

Oddly enough Micah isn't bothered by this. She may not be able to tell anyone her burdens now but technically speaking she doesn't have them anymore. All thats left is to move forward. With that thought she grits her teeth together and hardens her stare at Truth.   
  
_"So you've accepted it now have you? I bet you're also wondering where the gate is?"_

All of a sudden two gates appear before them identical in all except their positioning. The gate on the left is wide open while the one on the right remains tightly closed. Micah looks between them both. 

_"I think you know which path you need to take to leave here"_ Truth says and gestures towards the open gate. Micah only continues to stare at the one which remains closed. _"Now now, that gate isn't for you."_ Truth states. _"Well it was, but you closed it when this one opened."_

Micah looks once again at the open gate and walks towards it, stopping to look back at Truth.

 _"Well go on now, or do you need me to push you again?"_ Truth reaches towards Micah. Remembering what happened to her shoulders she leans back into the doorway and lets herself fall.

* * *

Blinking away the blackness Micah's gaze slowly blooms into focus. Canvas ceiling, white sheets, the smell of antiseptic and blood in the air. _"I must me in the medical tent..."_ There is shuffling from somewhere in the corner and she sits up to find the woman called Lieutenant Hawkeye. 

_"You're awake now! Thats good. You collapsed from the blood loss and I had to carry you back here. Rest a moment but when your ready there are clothes on the table. Your other clothing was torn and bloody so you'll have to make due with one of my uniforms in the meantime. "_ She finishes while standing. _"I_ _need to get the Major."_ With that she disappears out of the tent. 

Micah hesitates only a moment before standing to dress. Shuffling over to the table with the uniform she finds a wash basin filled with water and a cloth. Splashing water on her face and wiping the cool cloth over her neck she notes the brittle air. Her skin is dry almost as soon as the cloth leaves it. _"So I am still in the desert then..."_ Dropping the sheet from around her, she begins dressing. Thankfully the Lieutenant had seen fit to throw in a pair of crisp cotton boxers and undershirt -probably noting Micah's preference when they had removed her ripped clothes. There was no bra to replace her old one but with her wiry frame it won't be too noticeable. She couldn't have worn it with her injuries anyway. After donning the simple undergarments and drawing the navy trousers over her legs She eyed the blouse still remaining. Attempting to pull the starched white blouse over her shoulders only to concede defeat to the sharp twinge as the fabric rasped across her back. Eventually Micah gave up the task entirely. _"I don't know what country this uniform is for, but I am not subject to the regulations for wear. I will try to be as respectful as possible but surely they will understand my injuries prohibit the proper wear"._ Judging herself relatively presentable Micah approaches the flap of the medical tent pulling it back to reveal the faces of the Lieutenant and Major Mustang. 

Flushing, the Major immediately shifts his eyes to the ground stammering as he retreats back from the tent. _"I-- Forgive my intrusion!"_

Micah looks back down at herself and returns Riza's gaze with her own questioning one -even arching an eyebrow for good measure. 

The Lieutenant chuckles before covering the loss of composure with a cough. "As _I said earlier -his manners are lacking. Though he is a notorious skirt chaser I assure you his intention was only to come here and ask you some questions. If you'd like a minute to finish dressing we can both wait outside."_ Turning on her heel the Lieutenant almost exits the tent before Micah's soft grip on her bicep stops her. Glancing back quizzically waiting for an explanation she only frowns when Micah simply shakes her head and gestures at her bandaged shoulders. 

_"Oh. I suppose that makes sense. The blouse won't fit over the bandages. Your undershirt will be fine then."_ Riza moves to drape the jacket around Micah's frame as she rests on the edge of the bed. Once satisfied that the jacket is covering enough Riza leans in Conspiratorially and whispers to Micah. _"Hopefully that will be fine. If not I am sure he will cope."_

Raising her voice for the benefit of the Major she continues. _Major Mustang! It is safe to enter now, sir!"_

The Major pushed through the tent flap and briefly glances at Micah as momentarily before her decent enough.

_"I apologize for our earlier meeting. It was not my intention to walk in on you in such a state of undress. Unfortunately I have some questions for you. Do you remember who I am? If not that is alright. I understand that when we first met you were in a great deal of pain. I am State Alchemist Major Roy Mustang with the Amestrian Military. My subordinates and I found you while we were in pursuit of a military defector. Can you give us your name and explain to us what happened to you?"_

Micah looks into the stern eyes of Major Mustang and takes a moment to comprehend what he said in her mind. _"Did he say 'Amestrian'? Where is that... Wait- Did he say State Alchemist?"_ Micah tries to speak but the burning sensation in her chest is too much. She looks at the Major and taps her chest while mouthing to him that she is mute. 

Mustang looks between her and the Lieutenant rapidly before settling on the Lieutenant. _"Lieutenant Hawkeye, did you know this woman cannot speak?!?! Get her some paper at once!"_ He directs. To Micah he asks if she can write to which she nods that she can.

* * *

Not too long after, Micah is sitting with a pad of paper and a pen in front both Mustang and Hawkeye scribbling hasty answers to their questions. They started as simple questions about her name and age and where she was from. The latter had been the most difficult to answer. When Mustang asked her where she was from Micah had wrote 'Israel'. Well, She intended to write 'Israel'. Her hand made the appropriate letters but they simply ended up shaped to read 'Ishval'. Micah attempted to cross out and re-write the word several times much to the confusion of everyone but eventually gave up.

 _"You don't look completely Ishvalan. You have the white hair but you are missing the red eyes though"_ Mustang had remarked gesturing to Micahs sheared scalp before continuing. _"You don't have to worry! We mean you no harm and the cease fire was issued several days ago on May 12th, 1909."_

She thinks about her White hair, topaz eyes and honeyed skin. She is a delicate mixture of things that is certain. The white locks she gets are from her mothers Israeli heritage while her golden eyes and skin come from her fathers Syrian lineage. Living in Germany her entire life Micah had never fit in. 

Mustang continues his questioning. _"I assume you are here searching for family? Are you an Amestrian Citizen?"_

No matter how many times she tried to force the correct words onto the paper the end result said 'Amestrian'. _"Thats so weird"_ She thinks. " _I've never heard of any of these places before. Combines with the strange uniforms I wonder..."_

Micah freezes as she puts together all the information in her mind. Gooseflesh prickles her arms and she swears that she can feel Truth's laughter in her mind. _"Amestrian Military... Alchemy... 1909... Wait 1909! Thats when scholars lose the trail of alchemy in history! There are clear markers but none of them have any reference dates past that year as if all records were erased."_ Micah knows now that she must have really passed through the gate. _"Thats what Truth meant when it said the other gate was closed to me now..."_ She thinks. 

Knowing the only choice now is to move forward she meets the concerned gazes of the Lieutenant and Major while shaking her head and writing on the paper. She blurs the lines of Truth and fiction while still trying to explain without sounding crazed. Holding it up they read the sentences Micah has written: _I don't know what happened here or why I was bleeding. I do not remember being attacked. I do not know where I am. I do not have any family here. I am alone and I came here to reconstruct myself._

Mustang is the first to speak. _"You don't know what happened? The Ishvalan war just ended. You are in Ishval. You are alone? No relatives?"_

Micah shakes her head and writes that she is her only family. This much is true. Micah had been alone all her life since her parents left when she was very young. She remembered their faces from photos. 

_"That is unfortunate and we are sorry for your loss. What do you mean when you say you came here to reconstruct yourself? Are you aware human transmutation is forbidden?"_

Micah thinks about how to answer that question taking note about the taboo of human alchemy before writing her answer. _I do not mean reconstruct myself in the sense of human transmutation. I mean more of a reinvention of myself. I made many mistakes in my past and it caused the harm of many people. I want to be the change I wish to see in the world now._

_"That is an admirable goal. Much aligned with the original goal of us state alchemists -at least before the conflict. Speaking of I need to mention once again that we mean you no harm, especially as an amestrian citizen. When the orders came from the top to stop the Ishval extermination there were some who didn't agree with the cease fire.-namely the man we are pursuing. We have cause to believe that the two distinct hand prints are wounds caused by an ex-state alchemist. He specializes in explosive alchemy and weaponizing humans."_

Micah's mouth falls open and her breath catches. This country had ordered the massacre of an entire nation and Micah looked like she could be one of it's people. That was why the Major kept trying to reassure her of her safety. He probably thought that she would flee at any moment! Looking harder at the Lieutenant and the Major she sees the truth behind their tired eyes. They didn't sign up for a massacre and had gotten a front row seat- just like her. Micah knows what she must do now. She may no longer be burdened by the guilt that her actions had caused but she could make the choice to truly be better without guilt to drive her. She sees now that Truth's price was both a blessing and a curse. She couldn't tell anyone her mistakes and she could be free of guilt from them but she could also help others. There were enough guilty people in the world, perhaps one without the feeling would help better it. 

Writing out the next few sentences was difficult. Micah had to be careful to blur the Truth just enough that she could share it and make sure not to incriminate someone of crimes they didn't commit. The man they were pursuing may be a criminal but that person still deserved Truth. 

_I am not going to run from you. I am unworried for my safety. My only concern is helping others. This man you speak of, I have never seen him and he did not hurt me. These wounds are something I accidentally caused myself through my ignorance of the Truth in alchemy and disregard of equivalent exchange._

Watching the Major and Lieutenant read her words seemed to take forever. They both looked at each other and an understanding seemed to pass between them as Lieutenant Hawkeye saluted and left the tent. Major Mustang clasped his white gloved hands together in his lap and seemed to consider his words even as he spoke them.

_"I suspected you were an Alchemist from the tattoos on your arm.. Any Alchemist knows that equivalent exchange is a rule that cannot be broken or bent. You lost something and if you wish not to recover it that is fine. However, as an Alchemist I too am familiar with equivalent exchange and I am also not willing to bend or be broken. In exchange for my silence about your broken taboo you are going to become a state alchemist and help me remind the military of the rules of equivalent exchange. Are we understood? "_

Without waiting for her answer the Major stands and exits the tent leaving Micah alone with her thoughts; simply stating over his shoulder that the Lieutenant will be back within the hour.

She lets out a shaken breath and tries to get her thoughts under control. _"_ _I_ _broke the taboo... Truth said another opened the gate..."_ is a mantra through her mind. Failing to dismiss the thoughts she rests back on the medical cot and lets sleep take her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please as always comment if you have suggestions :)


	8. Envious and Hidden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major Mustang offers Micah a chance at redemption. She accepts his offer and finally discovers what he and Lieutenant Hawkeye mean when they speak about her Alchemy. Truth gave her exactly what she asked for. Now Micah can move forward without fear. She has never hesitated to put herself in harms way for others and now she can continue to do so without fear. Micah knows that her future will involve more self sacrifice and she is willing to give it. Micah may be without guilt but she can now chose to make a change based on facts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a long chapter :) Also... KIMBLEE MAKES HIS FIRST SMALL APPEARANCE!!!!!!!!!  
> I hope everyone enjoys. Thank you for all your Kudos and comments. As requested I tried just get a little mention of Roy/Riza and Hughes/Gracia. There will me more to come in future chapters.

Micah is startled awake by the sounds of buildings collapsing in the distance some odd hours later. Brisk air coming through the unsecured tent flap and the sounds of a patrol rushing by have her wide awake in moments. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes and sitting up in her now rumpled uniform she freezes in place when a soft voice whispers from outside. 

_"I know you're awake, you might as well come out. Wear the overcoat this time. The air carries a chill."_

Recognizing the voice as belonging to Major Mustang she shrugs the overblouse on, wincing as it grabs at her shoulders. As irritating as it is to put it on she manages. The cold air outside would cause her to become indecent otherwise. Stepping outside Micah comes up alongside the Major. He stares towards the edge of camp. The fingers of the dawn are just barely reaching over the ruined city. The soft violet glow of the sky only hinting at early morning. She had -unsurprisingly- slept through the night. Her years of military service had conditioned her to rest when able. The same conditioning however, had her wide awake and tense when she heard the explosions in the distance. 

_"You have experience in battle."_ commented Mustang. _"Don't bother denying it. Most wouldn't be calm listening to the sounds of destruction so close."_

Watching another building crumble in the distance Micah turns and looks at the Major quizzically. Echoing laughter reaches her ears on the nighttime breeze.

_"Those explosions are the work of the man we are pursuing. The Crimson Alchemist. He has a penchant for being overzealous about his work. That is part of the reason we are to take him into custody."_

Micah once again turns away from Mustang as another building collapses -this time closer. He continues on to answer more of Micah's unspoken questions. 

_"He killed his squad when the cease fire order was delivered. They attempted to stop him from continuing his destruction under the guise of not receiving the order. We are to take him into custody where there will be a formal court martial for his crimes."_

Micah is truly shocked. She wonders how anyone could kill and destroy for fun. To her knowledge only a psychopath would enjoy something so terrible. She thinks back on how her commanding officers sat at the command center enjoying the destruction. Remembering the laughter of the commanders she served under she had to rescind her assessment of psychopath. Human beings, it seemed, simply enjoyed destruction as long as they weren't on the receiving end of it. _"If anyone is a psychopath it would be me now due to my lack of guilt"_ Micah though dryly. 

Major Mustang steps in front of Micah effectively cutting off her sight of the destruction and speaks softly. _"Have you come to terms with my offer?"_ he asks. 

Micah thinks back on what he had told her late in the evening; when he had stopped in to bring her some rations. He had told her that his silence wouldn't come freely and that he could use more people to support him behind the scenes. 'On his way to the top' -whatever that mean't. When she had asked him with her pen and paper 'why her' he had simply stated that those who had lost something were always driven the hardest. His offer was simple -join the military and serve under him or be taken into custody as a traitor to Amestris. Really it was more blackmail than an offer and his smug expression confirmed it. She thinks back on his exact words as he casually spoke them. 

_"All I ask in exchange for not sharing your attempt at human transmutation is that you continue to wear that uniform. When you return home with us I will state that you joined our ranks en route to Ishval as an aid to Amestris"._ When Micah had coldly met his gaze at the mention of her remaining bound to the military he had continued on with his blackmail. _"Or, with your white hair and the state we found you in, it wouldn't be at all difficult to allow the Fuhrer to believe that you were plotting against us..."_

 _'What a bastard"_ Micah had thought. She hadn't even needed convincing to stay and work behind the scenes. This country obviously needed it if they were willingly executing their own citizens and allowing people like the Crimson Alchemist the run about unchecked until it was too late. 

Standing before Major Mustang now though her anger at his earlier words dissipates. She knows that she needs to help. It makes her unable to blame the man. All he has done is see the injustice his military is committing. Unlike her he is doing whatever he can to right it. Unlike her he didn't run when he saw the slaughter -he is going to fight it. 

Micah nods her affirmation to Mustang and he smirks as if he had known her answer all along. _"Welcome to hell then Micah. Or should I say Private Elkanah, since ultimately you'll be reporting to me. Lieutenant Hawkeye will see you this afternoon with the identification papers you will need and speak with the doctors about the status of your wounds. Have a good morning, Private."_

 _"Ugh... What a smug bastard"_ Micah thinks to herself again as she watches him walk off. 

* * *

She’d spent the remains of the morning in the medical tent pacing. When the doctor arrived to assess the wounds he was not alone but instead accompanied by Lieutenant Hawkeye. Sitting on the cot with her shoulders bared to the doctor and Lieutenant all Micah could do was listen patiently as the doctor explained her status and become increasingly frustrated that there wasn't a mirror so she could see. 

_"The skin is still thin but is mostly healed over from where the Major cauterized it. Unfortunately the Flame Alchemist was a bit heavy handed and, as you well know Lieutenant, it caused some lasting problems. All things aside the wound looks to be in remarkably good shape and as long as it doesn't sustain any further injury it should be fine. I'll leave you to explain the rest."_

As Micah stood and tucked her shirt in Lieutenant Hawkeye came to stand beside her. _"It looks like we are going to be spending some time together. Mustang explained everything to me. I am glad there is another person to support him. As for your wounds, there were some complications from what the Major did. The most noticeable of these issues will be the scarring and there will be nerve damage from the burns."_

At this Micah stops fidgeting with her uniform and stares at the Lieutenant waiting for her to continue. 

_"Unfortunately, there is not a mirror here or I would let you look to get the shock over with now. The best I can do is show you what the result will be like."_

Lieutenant Hawkeye turns away from Micah and begins unbuttoning her over-blouse and sets it gently on a chair back. Next to follow is the crisp white button-down which she folds and places alongside her blouse. _"Please don't be alarmed"_ She says glancing over her shoulder and spotting Micahs worried expression. _"This is the only way for me to show you."_

With that, the Lieutenant pulls up her undershirt to expose the warped flesh beneath. The skin is bunched and thick in some sections with crooked black tattoos and shiny and pink in others. Burn scars. 

_"A while ago I asked the Major to remove something horrendous from my back. My father had hidden his research on it and after seeing what it was capable of I asked Roy to use that same research on me. You see, my father was the Alchemist that helped develop and perfect the flame alchemy that Roy uses. Roy was his apprentice."_

Micah glances at her feet while the Lieutenant buttons her shirt back up. Micah grabs her now ever-present pen and paper and scribbles two words: _Im sorry._

Lieutenant Hawkeye reads the words and just smiles at Micah. _"You don't have to apologize. I asked for this. I know what happened to your shoulders isn't the same but I hope you understand. We are here for each other, even when it hurts."_

Micah quickly scrawls another message. _Lieutenant, I understand that the Major did what needed to be done. What I don't understand is why he has taken an interest in me joining his team. What does he mean by us supporting him 'on his way to the top'?_

The Lieutenants eyes spark as she reads the questions. _"I am glad you understand. Also, you may call me Hawkeye or Riza. As far as I am concerned we are equals achieved through what we've both gone through regardless of rank. The Major wants you for his team because he needs someone with an outside perspective. You are here in a war zone -alone- and you've shown no sign of fear. The Major needs someone like you helping watch his back."_

She briefly glances at Micah to make sure she is still following. _"During this conflict he has had a closer look at the problems within the military -we all have. He wants to reach the top to fix these problems and make sure something like this never happens again. Also, he believes your Alchemy will be part of what saves us."_

As she finishes she looks at Micah to gauge her reaction. Micah is stunned. _'My Alchemy?'_ She thinks. _' I have never used Alchemy before! What is she talking about'_. Micahs mind begins to race.

Hawkeye doesn’t seem to understand that her silence is shock and not apprehension.

_"I can see you have reservations about using your alchemy for the military but I know the Major and he won't ask for anything unless it's absolutely necessary. Enough about that though, lets get you to Hughes for your paperwork."_

* * *

Several hours later Micah finally left Captain Hughes' -or rather Hughes as he requested to be called- tent with all of her identifying paperwork and an intricate understanding about his relationship with Gracia.

Gracia was the mans everything. He never stopped talking about her. They haven't been together that long but anyone could see -or hear- that she was the reason he gave every single day his all. Maes Hughes' weary eyes lit up and the weight of his actions left his shoulders every time he spoke about her. Micah was glad that at least Hughes had someone much like Hawkeye had the Major. Even looking past the obvious sexual tension between both Mustang and Hawkeye it was apparent that they kept each other going. 

Hughes gave her paperwork for her identity detailing where she was from, her age, her appearance, and other basics. She has no idea how he was able to acquire identification for her so quickly and then realized they must be fake. When inquiring about it to Hawkeye she simply whispered to Micah that " _Captain Hughes worked in intelligence before the conflict started"._

Playful as ever he couldn't resist messing with Hawkeye. _"Now now Lieutenant don't be shy. Ladies love a secretive man in uniform. Or at least my Gracia sure does!"_

 _"Spare me the sass Captain. Now that we have paperwork for Micah the Major wants you to assess her defensive skills"_ said Hawkeye. _"The Major will be along shortly. I have some other things I need to collect for Micah."_

Leaving Micah with Captain Hughes she walked off in what was surely the direction of the command tent.

Micah now had the full attention of Hughes whose smile then turned serious. _"Major Mustang directed me to assess your skills in hand to hand combat although from what I understand you are a talented alchemist. Still hand to hand combat has served me well where even the Majors alchemy had almost failed him."_

At Micah's nervous look he clarified further. _"I understand that you are still recovering so I will avoid the areas with injury. Nod when you are ready to begin"._

Micah understood that he misinterpreted her nervous look for one of worry. She wasn't nervous or worried for her safety however, but for his. _'I don't know what they mean by my supposed alchemy but I am quite skilled in hand-to-hand'_ Micah thought. She had a great deal of experience from fending off the unwarranted actions of the military men she had worked with. They weren't always kind to women they caught alone. 

Relaxing her shoulders and settling into a modified defensive stance she grit her teeth and nodded at him She almost missed the glint in his eyes that gave away his oncoming strike. He was fast. Jabbing and rushing Micah he was trying to corner her with her own defense but she kept just out of reach. Soon though he grew tired of chasing her and adjusted his movements He then struck for her shoulder and winced at her gasp from the pain. _'He didn't want to hit me there but did it anyway. We must have an audience'_ She thought.

She spun and stepped the correct way to give her hit more force while still pulling her punch so not to hurt him. With a sickening crunch she knocked his glasses aside with the heel of her hand. Even then she was careful to pull away from his face before actually contacting. Micah paused when Hughes did at the stern voice of Major Mustang. _"Captain Hughes, I think we've seen sufficient evidence of her fighting capabilities. Please progress further with the assessment."_

 _"Yes sir"_ Hughes replies to the Major. Looking to Micah while gesturing at the Major he says _"I apologize for this in advance, I am sure you know by now he can be quite a bastard"._ Before Micah can comprehend the full meaning of Hughes words a glint of metal catches her eyes and then red spatters across her chest followed by a white-hot pain. Hughes had concealed a blade in his hand and had landed what was surly a fatal blow against Micah. 

_'This is where I die'_ She thinks while falling to the ground. Staring into the gaping wound on her chest with sickening flashes of white bone showing through. 

Instead of bleeding out though, the pain gives way to what Micah is learning as the unmistakeable crackling lightning of Alchemy as she watches the skin on her chest knit itself together. When the wound is finally gone she lays on the ground just a moment longer trying not to panic. Her thoughts racing. _'My skin just rebuilt itself... No it reconstructed itself. This must be my alchemy! I don't understand how I am doing this'._

_"See Captain, I told you she'd be fine. You are free to leave. Private Elkanah, please stand when you are able."_

Only when Micah is finally standing and looking at the Major does he continue. _"Judging by your surprise I am guessing you where unaware that you were able to do this. When we found you and I tried to cauterize your shoulders the skin would try and stitch itself back together along the cut marks faster than I could stop the bleeding without actually healing over. I had to put more force into the action then I wanted and ruin the skin past the initial wound to get it to seal over correctly. It is good to know though that the same problem won't occur if you are wounded now."_

 _'Bastard'_ Micah thinks. Still she understands that it was done in her best interest. Truth did give her exactly what she asked for, ' _to reconstruct herself if allowed'._ Smirking at the irony of the situation she nods to the Major and pulls out her pen and paper to thank him. 

_"No need to thank me especially since there are some selfish things I am demanding in return. Get yourself cleaned up and meet us in the command tent."_ With that he turns and casually walks off towards its general direction.

* * *

Micah had returned her tent to set up a cot and change into one of the extra uniforms Hawkeye had managed to acquire before she set off through the camp. It was sad but resourceful how this military had set up camp within the confines of the ruined city. They were using remnants of buildings that were still standing as the mess hall and had erected tents for soldier quarters. Micah supposed this was a good option. The ruined city walls offered some buffer from the blistering wind that never seemed to quit and protection from any inbound attack.

Continuing on towards the command tent she turns down a shaded alleyway hoping to get some relief from the midday sun. Micah quickly becomes lost in her own thoughts while enjoying the cool shade. She can't stop thinking about how quickly she healed from the wound Hughes inflicted on her. _'Is this the power of Alchemy?' What else can I do...'_ She wonders. 

When a silken whisper blows across the nape of her neck and sets her skin prickling she gives her surroundings her immediate attention. She barely had time to face her assailant before hands wrap around her wrists and her back is pressed against the stone wall of the alley way. 

_"Now this is certainly a turn of events, though I must say the uniform fits the form you've chosen quite well. I would almost think you were a real person if I didn't know better"_

Micah shakes her head. She can feel his gaze roaming over her. Not quite sexual in his appraisal of her but more inquisitive. She doesn't know this man but he thinks he knows her. He is invading every inch of her space. She can smell the salt and smoke on his skin. Standing almost a head taller than her this man is built lean for his height. His jet black hair pulled back into a hairband and falling nearly waist length behind his back. Micah identifies him as part of the military by his navy trousers and undershirt. She doesn't know what rank he is because he is missing the overblouse. Micah's gaze follows the pale skin of his forearms up to his shoulders and across his jaw. Eventually she meets his piercing blue gaze and his eyes narrow. His features are sharp in predatory sort of way. 

_"Well aren't you going to greet me Envy? You could at least pretend to have some manners."_

_'Envy?'_ Micah shakes her head. She doesn't know what he is talking about. She starts to mouth that she is mute and he brings one of his hands up from where he had blocked her in against the wall and gently grabs her by the chin. Just barely she glimpses a black tattoo on his palm. He drags his hand down the length of her neck and onto her collar to wrap his hand lightly around her throat. His touch is gentle but laced with danger. His gaze locks her in place. Not from fear but from something else -curiosity. She feels like a bird that has locked eyes with a snake for the first time. 

_"Well if you aren't going to speak to me like that I guess I can stop being polite"_

The tender skin of her throat prickles and she feels her skin shift. His face lights up as the tattoo pressed against her illuminates It. She fees the skin blister but the pain is gone as quick as it comes. Nothing else happens. The skin simply reforms just as quickly as he can damage it. Over and over again he tries. The burning feeling on her throat is similar to that of when she tries to speak. 

The spark in his eyes slowly fades from shock to fear. He snatches his hand back as if he's been stung and backs away and shakes his head aggressively causing his hair to fall free.

 _"No... You aren't Envy! What are you..."_ Not bothering to wait for her answer he turns and rushes off. 

Micah is still too shocked to move. When she finally manages she reaches down to pick up the hair tie that fell from his locks. Who was that man and why would he try and hurt her? Perhaps she looked like someone he knows. Still as weird as her alchemy is she is glad that she doesn't have to worry about people like him. Micah continues towards the command tent, her mind consumed by thoughts or this strange man. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I initially chose the name 'Micah' for the OC because it rough translation means from Hebrew it means "Who is like God". I chose the last name 'Elkanah' because in Hebrew it is roughly meaning "God has purchased". I figured the first and last name balanced out well.


	9. The Sounds of Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solf J. Kimblee is unnerved by his interaction with Micah. He thought that the Ishvalan girl he saw in the Amestrian uniform was Envy trying to cause more trouble. Kimblee relives how he ended up inthe military and what happens to those who make mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize now everyone. I had to go back and edit the last chapter a little. Just minor things like typos. There are a few larger edits at the very end of the chapter though (like the last two paragraphs). As always I hope everyone enjoys and comments/suggestions are appreciated. I love getting feedback from everyone :)

Breathing rapidly the man drags his long slender fingers through his tangle of black hair. Sinking against the wall of some ruined building he attempts to find comfort in the surrounding destruction. Some time ago he had lost the hair tie he typically restrained his locks with adding another layer of irritation to the whole situation.

 _"I made a mistake... She wasn't Envy... What even was she! I couldn't do any damage! I am weak.... Weak!"_ he whispers. He had only seen what appeared to be an Ishvalan woman walking around in an Amestrian military uniform and assumed it was simply Envy trying to cause more trouble. 

_"It wasn't Envy... It wasn't Envy... It wasn't Envy..."._

Tapping his fingers along his skull and trying to calm himself with the repetitive thumping it made. Becoming irritated made him fidgety and becoming fidgety caused him to make mistakes. Those who made mistakes got punished. It’s been a long time since he was punished and he hasn’t thought back to that day since he killed his tormentor. The memory of that day flashes before his eyes and he feels trapped by it.

* * *

_**~ 9 years ago ~** _

He was sat at the upright piano in the sitting room. Light streamed in through the windows and warmed his back while his insides felt cold. This piano only brought him fear. It was nothing like the white grand that he performed his recitals on. That was his haven. It was where the audience and stage lighting protected him from the man he called father. Continuing through the bars his fingers shook along the ivories and his anxiety ramped up as his father spoke. It was the calm before the storm.

_“Now Solf, pay close attention. Surely you’ll get it this time."_

It was almost noon. Solf knew it would happen again. Every day at noon the cannons fired signaling the approach of midday in his small town. It was some old war tradition from a past battle and the town leader went on about the 'preservation of the towns great history' any time someone mentioned replacing the cannons with a clock tower. Each time the loud shake in the air caused him to misstep on the foot pedals and his fingers to skip the keys. He had spoken once to his father about ending practice early and only received his wrath In response. He'd never asked again.

Like clockwork the cannons fired in the distance causing the windows to shake. The sharp sound as the notes clashed and the music became noise accompanied his brittle breaths.

**_BOOM!_ **

The second cannon blast happens. Ten more to go. A large hand wraps it’s way into Solf’s hair yanking at the strands until his scalp screams.

**_BOOM!_ **

_“What did I say about mistakes!"_ his father roars. His head is slammed against the keys.

_**BOOM!** _

A long time ago Solf would apologize. A broken jaw later and he’d learned all it did was make the man angrier.

_**BOOM!** _

Solf tasted blood in his mouth. Again his head slammed the keys and he saw stars.

_**BOOM!** _

Ever since his mother had died a few years ago his father had become more unreasonable. His father had been quite the talented music teacher. Unfortunately during one of Solf’s performances his mother had suffered a heart attack and collapsed. Solf couldn’t see the crowd due to the blinding stage lights and had continued his performance with only a few mistakes. That was all his father remembered: His mistakes. His fathers breath stank of alcohol as he screamed in Solf’s bloodied face.

_“your mother loved that song. It was almost as beautiful as she was and you dare to make a mockery of it!”_

_**BOOM!** _

Something inside him snapped as his temple collided with the keyboard again. Always keeping time with the explosions in the background. He doubted the old man even realized he was doing it. Funny how years of keeping time could alter the subconscious. He smelled the iron and rust of his blood. He couldn’t take it any more. Just when his fathers hand slacked up before the next hit Solf seized his chance.

_**BOOM!** _

Solf slammed his head back into his fathers face. The sickening crunch let him know he had broken the mans nose. The older man staggered back releasing his grip on Solf’s hair in favor of cupping his hand to his face to try and staunch the bleeding.

_“you disrespectful brat! How dare you strike your father after the mistakes you made!"_

**BOOM!**

Solf staggers up from the bench and approaches his father. His ears Zero in on the word responsible for all of his suffering: **_Mistake_**. The face of his father pales when he catches sight of the cold and calculating expression on Solf’s face as he stalks forward. He wraps one hand around the older mans throat and threads the other through his hair as he forces him to the floor.

_**BOOM!** _

He slams his fathers face against the marble floor with a sickening crack.

_**BOOM!** _

He wraps his hands around his throat as a sick smile spreads across his features. 

_**BOOM!** _

Solf looked his father in the eyes and slowly spoke. " _Always so focused on my mistakes father, Perhaps it's time I showed you yours_ _. I hope you savor it"_

**_BOOM!_ **

With the sound of the last cannon's fire Solf tightened his grip around his fathers throat and forced the last breath from his tormentor. 

Sinking back on his haunches he begins to laugh. The laugh starts low in his throat and works its way through his entire chest as the relief finally sets in. He will never be beat by that man again. He will never be weak again. 

Not long after he was taken into custody by the military police. He was old enough to be tried as an adult but ultimately the military offered him a deal. He was guilty of murdering his father but the damage that was done to him and statements from his neighbors painted a clearer picture of his long time abuse. When the military offered him the choice to serve instead of incarceration he jumped at the opportunity to wear the starched uniform that exuded sheer power and authority. 

* * *

The memory always ended there. Causing him to come back to himself.

 _"I am not weak. I am Powerful. I am no ones mistake"_ He tells himself while pressing the red shard against his teeth. 

_"I am powerful!"_

Solf presses his hands together and the energy sets the air crackling. _"Yes"_ He thinks... _"I will never be weak again"._

He lets the power flow from between his hands and the building collapses around him as he throws his head back to gaze at the sky " _Ah... what a beautiful sound. It doesn't get any better than that. I can feel it deep in my bones, like a part of me I never noticed before. That sound is an extension of my being. And this land - this land that's governed by death - I will paint it red with this shard of destruction."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the short chapter. This felt like more of a character study for Kimblee and how he came to be obsessed with aural stimuli. He is really having a meltdown about mistaking Micah for Envy ~more on that later ~


	10. Commanding the Captured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mustang finally gets a location on the Crimson Alchemist. Up until now Kimblee has been careful to avoid capture but it seems he's gotten reckless in his actions. Mustang captures him but not before Kimblee gets the last word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tried to think of ways that Kimblee could use his alchemy long range without having to touch his targets and hopefully I got it right. I know that typically he uses the tattoos in his hands but I don't feel that this would be as effective if Mustang were standing far away. Typically he either places his hands on his victims or on the items he wants to detonate. In this scene I picture them standing essentially in the dessert because Kimblee has already blown everything else to bits.

The sounds of a nearby building crumbling so close to the command tent immediately caught Major Mustangs attention. 

_"I apologize Private Elkanah. It would seem our meeting is going to be cut short. I trust you can find your way back to your tent to pack your belongings?"_

Hastily Micah nods her head hoping to get outside and see what is happening.

_"Directly to your tent. Am I clear? Captain Hughes will meet you. I hope everything we discussed was agreeable. Lieutenant Hawkeye and I will take a squad and figure out whats going on"._

Holding open the tent flap for Micah the Major quickly follows her out into the chaos and is barking commands as soon as he finds a squad leader. Micah can see the dust in the air and feel the ground shaking. This time the laughter from before is closer. Making her way to her tent to pack her belongings she passes a squad headed towards the fading sounds of the blast. As much as she wants to investigate she knows it is in her best interest to follow the commands of the Major -for now. 

* * *

Pulling on his ignition gloves he meets the serious gaze of Riza. _"Sir"_ she says. _"I should go with you for your safety. I can watch-"_

 _"No"_ he cuts her off. He needs her stationed as far from the blast zone as he can get her. As a sniper his placement of her is advantageous. As a selfish bastard it makes him feel better knowing she is as far from the Crimson Alchemist as possible. Roy catches the hurt in her expression before she can mask it. Resting a hand on her shoulder he looks down at her. 

_"Riza, I know you can watch my six better than any of these men and thats why I need you posted up in the tower. You are faster and more accurate than any other soldier here and you will eliminate any threat before it can get to me. I know it. I trust you now trust me."_

He stares into her eyes almost getting lost. His gaze drops to her mouth for just a fraction of a second too familiar. Riza nods at him and turns to leave. He's thankful she is a better person than him and always has been -now isn't the time to get distracted. 

Not long after the initial blast the reports had come in from a posted watch with sights on Kimblee's exact location. He'd mustered a squad and from the sounds of the report the Crimson Alchemist was having some sort of breakdown. Mental state notwithstanding Roy knew that they were going to get him. Kimblee had been very cafeful with his movements up until this point -enjoying the game of cat and mouse with the military. Blowing up a building in broad daylight however was reckless even for him. 

Roy felt the sweat building up on the nape of his neck. He wasn't sure if it was from nerves or the heat. He'd have to approach this with the utmost caution. One touch from Kimblee and he would be done for. 

He waited until he saw the signal from Riza that she was posted. No one else would have seen it. It wasn't really a signal after all -just something Roy knew to look for after years of working with her. It was the sharp glint off the scope that she was normally careful to prevent. He knew it was her way of telling him she was ready. 

Roy took a breath and then stepped forward from the cover of the rubble and spoke. 

_"Major Solf J. Kimblee -The Crimson Alchemist. You are to be captured and courtmartialed for the war crimes you have committed during the Ishvalan conflict. Come forward with your arms spread apart. Make no move to resist and I won't hurt you"._

The sand in front of Roy explodes but he holds his ground. He knew Kimblee wouldn't be detained without a fight but in front of witnesses he had to seem at least like he was making at attempt at civility towards a former officer.

Solf strode forward; both arms at his sides with what looked like sand pouring from between his fingers.   
  
_"Ahh if it isn't the 'Hero of Ishval' in the flesh. Strange how we are both mass murderers but only one of us is considered a hero"_ chuckled Kimblee. The laughter didn't reach his eyes as he continued speaking. 

_"You and I both know that your orders are to capture and not kill me. This conflict has proven me a valuable asset and the military would hate to waste it"._

_"Yes"_ Roy agreed. _"My orders were to bring you into custody alive but you are not the only one capable of disregarding an order. If you force my hand I will kill you and deal with the consequences later"._

 _"Yes I ignored the orders to cease fire -unlike you. We are still very similar however, both of us feel just the slightest tinge of satisfaction and pride in our skills. What makes us different though is I've taken this opportunity to better mine"_ says Kimblee as he reaches down to grab more handfuls of sand. 

Roy had his hand poised just right to incinerate Kimblee if he tries anything but his calm demeanor makes Roy uneasy. _"What are you on about Kimblee?!"_

Smirking the Crimson Alchemist looks up at Roy as he slowly asks him a question. _"Do you know what sand is composed of Major? Its primarily made up of silicon dioxide and traces of Sodium. The sodium is perfect for long range explosions."_

**BOOM!**

Another blast sprays sand up around Roy as he dodges. ' _Shit'_ he thinks. This isn't good. Kimblee is condensing the amounts of sodium in the sand and the exposure to trace moisture in the air to cause his explosions. 

_"Unfortunately"_ continues Kimblee _"This method of detonation is less precise than my usual one. I can only cause explosions where the concentrations of sodium is high enough. It should be enough to keep you away from me however."_

Mustang knows he is in trouble. He snaps his fingers feeling the ignition cloth rub together and directs the flame towards Kimblee. 

_"Too slow Mustang!"_ He cackles as another area of the ground detonates near Roy's left -this time too close for comfort. He's running now and sending flames in Kimblee's direction every chance he can but the Crimson Alchemist has a source for his explosions all around Roy. He can't afford to stay in one spot too long before the ground explodes. He feels himself becoming frustrated and his accuracy is suffering for it. 

_'Come on Riza, I need a distraction'_ thinks Roy. As soon as he finishes the thought a small area of sand blasts up near Kimblees face where he's knelt down surprising him. 

_"I see you brought your watch dog!"_ screams Kimblee as he reaches for another handful of sand. 

_'Thats it! Sand! Silicone dioxide!'_ thinks Roy. He has his answer. Just as kimblee sinks his fingers in the sand Roy directs his combustion to the area around Kimblee's hands. It's been a long time since he's practiced any other Alchemy except his flame but he is confident this is within his capabilities. Kimblee's shocked expression tells him his guess was right. The glass brick completely coats Kimblees hands effectively keeping the tattoos separated from each other and preventing any further transmutation. 

Kimblee sinks to his knees in defeat and Roy breathes a little easier. He directs a flame into the air to signal the squad that the Crimson Alchemist has been detained. 

_"What did you do?"_ Kimblee asks. 

_"I used the silica in the sand to encase your hands in glass and made sure to leave a layer of the dust inside as well. The structure not only keeps you from touching your tattoos together but also the dust has reached its highest oxidation state so it's ultimately useless for you."_ Roy is just barely able to keep the satisfaction from his voice. 

As the squad arrives Roy makes sure to give strict orders about how to keep the Crimson Alchemist contained and the best method for transport. He almost misses Kimblee's soft question as he turns to walk away.

_"Well now Major it seems you got me and even managed to follow orders too. Tell me though, did you really think when you put on that uniform you wouldn't be asked to kill?"_

The man doesn't know when to quit. Roy's nerves finally give in and he finds himself grabbing the Alchemist by the collar. " _Thats enough Kimblee!_ _I didn't choose to kill them!"_ he shouts but the man just continues. He knows Mustang won't go against order and kill him but he just can't resist needling the man. Roy knows he shouldn't pay him any mind and that he is giving him power by listening but he can't help it. He continues to listen as Kimblee speaks calmly.

_"I'll tell you what I don't get. Did you really expect something different? You act like you're surprised -like you didn't choose this."_

_"I didn't want to!"_ shouts Roy.

 _"Yes, you did, when you put on that uniform._ _One thing worse than death is to avert your eyes from it. Look straight at the people you kill. Don't take your eyes off them for a second. And don't ever forget them, because I promise that they won't forget you."_

Just as Roy pulls his arm back to strike Kimblee a small hand wrapping around his stops him. He looks up to meet the gaze of Riza who shakes her head at him. With that his anger dims and he feels empty inside. He feels some satisfaction though as Kimblee's smile dies when he realized he won't be getting a rise out of Roy. 

Turning away from Kimblee he nods at Riza and they start the walk back sharing in the companionable silence that always felt comforting to them both. 


	11. Tears in the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kimblee transported by the guards to Central where he is courtmartialed. Stripped of his title he spends some time reflecting on the last orders the Fuhrer had given him.

Kimblee feels his lips curl into a snarl at the retreating back of Major Mustang as the remaining soldiers creep closer. His ego had gotten the better of him for the first time in a long time and his reckless actions had given others more power over him. He knew eventually he would be pushed aside-Envy had hinted as much. He just didn't think it'd be so soon. Now he found himself surrounded by the weary soldiers -some of which he'd once commanded- and at their mercy. They seemed apprehensive of him -fearful. _'_

 _They are afraid of me still'_ thinks Solf. That was the only thought that kept him from losing it once again. He still had some power here. 

A soldier steps forward to grab him and he tenses hissing a command at the Soldier. _"Don't you dare lay a hand on me. Until I've been formally tried I am still a senior officer which means I am still owed your respect."_ He sees the young man deciding if it's worth it to push the issue. That was all he needed however -just a moment of indecision on the young soldiers part. He continued on with his argument

_"Just remember that when I am released I may not be as lenient"._

Reluctantly the soldier steps back and rests his hand on his holster. He may be afraid of the Crimson Alchemist but he had a job to do. Steeling himself he looks into Kimblee's eyes and speaks with false bravado. _"Major, get into the transport vehicle."_

 _"Now is that any way to speak to your superiors?"_ asks Kimblee. 

_"Sir, please get into the transport vehicle" ._

_"Absolutely Sargent"_ states Kimblee. _"If you could hold the door for me though..."_ he trails off gesturing with his restrained hands.

The Sargent does as bid and Solf steps into the vehicle. He didn't really have to be difficult but even just a small victory was all he could do to still feel in control. To him, control was everything. 

He sits on one of the benches in the back of the vehicle and watches the door close behind him. The bars on the small window a harsh reminder of where he was going. Thats right, he would be going to prison. He knew the Fuhrer wouldn't let him face the firing squad. It was under his orders after-all that Kimblee had continued with the slaughter -not that he'd needed much convincing. Resting his head against the metal wall of the vehicle and closing his eyes he takes a deep breath. Exhaling he forces his abdomen to contract and bring up the stone. He finds comfort in the soft click it makes as he tosses it against the backs of his teeth. The stone after all was what this was for so ultimately he was still in control.

His thoughts wander back to the wide-eyed woman he'd cornered in the alley earlier that day. The stone meant nothing if there was someone he couldn't use it on. That was part of the reason he'd become so reckless. He needed to destroy something after the encounter- To test the powers of the stone like never before. Who was that woman if she wasn't Envy? Even as he had tried to blow her up she hadn't looked afraid. Instead she had simply met his predatory stare with a curious one of her own. It sent an unfamiliar chill down his spine thinking about it. " _One day I'll find out who -or what- she was"_ he reasons aloud. Thoughts of her occupied every corner of his mind.

It was late afternoon before he was released from the vehicle. When the guards pulled him out of the back he emerged stumbling forward and drenched in sweat. The sun -though almost set- was nearly blinding from his time spent in the darkness or the vehicle. A few moments to get his bearings was all he was allowed before he was prodded forward. He stopped when he noticed he was at a train station. His pause was met with a rough shove. 

_"Hurry up. You're due in central for court-martial tomorrow morning. Now move!"_ said the guard. His command was punctuated with another sharp jab to Solf's back. Each time Solf stumbled from the cuffs on his ankles the guard behind him would jab into his lower back. There were several times the forceful handling from the guard caused him to fall. Each time he landed on the ground he was rewarded with a kick in the ribs and more commands to get moving.

As they arrived at the platform for prisoner transport Solf attempts to face his bully but a sharp hand dragging into his hair halts the motion. His guard forces him into the train car and onto his knees. Crouching down beside him just out of sight but so close that Solf can smell the stale cigarette smoke on his uniform and nearly taste the coffee on his breath the guard speaks lowly into his ear.

_"I know who you are 'Crimson Alchemist' and I hope you face a firing squad for the men of ours you killed."_

The hand in his hair prevents him from turning to see the mans face. The guard is smart to hide his face from Solf but ultimately it wouldn't be enough to hide his identity. His scalp is screaming from the abuse of the hand still tangled in his hair. He may be powerless now but he would always remember that voice. 

The guard slams Solf's face down against the train car floor much like his father had against the piano keys all those years ago. He could feel the bruises blooming across his jaw already. He knew from experience that the pale skin would be a deep ugly purple in a matter of minutes. 

" _Lets_ _see who's laughing now you sick fuck"_ says the guard as he releases his hold on Solf's hair and backs away. The loud creak of the door being bolted shut is the final reminder that once again Solf is alone in the darkness. The moisture on his cheeks reminds him again of the powerless young man he was so long ago. No one had comforted him then and no one would now. He settles into the gentle rocking of the train car and waits. 

* * *

_"...Guilty of the following articles; 85 Desertion; 90 Assaulting or Willfully Disobeying a Superior Comissioned Officer; 92 Failure to obey an Order or Regulation; 104 Aiding the Enemy; and 118 Murder. Effective Immediately you've here been stripped of your rank and the title of 'Crimson Alchemist' . As of today you are no longer a servant of Amestris but are instead a prisoner. Setenceing is life to be served within the maximum security prison for alchemists."_ Grumbled the voice of the Fuhrer. 

That same voice had also told him over a secure line in Ishval to continue his killing since his mission wasn't done. Solf stared disinterestedly around the room at the faces of fellow officers as they looked on with disgust. They weren't disgusted with him per-say, but rather his lack of punishment. They thought for sure he'd get the firing squad but it helped to have friends in high places. He couldn't go without punishment though and their Fuhrer had to keep up appearances by imprisoning him. It was strategic to move Kimblee off the metaphorical chessboard for later.   
  
The voices detailing his sentencing drone on in the background as hands wrap around his biceps to walk him out. He doesn't give his surroundings much attention. Instead, he thinks back on how this started weeks earlier. He'd been summoned by the aide of the Fuhrer to his command tent. 

_"Good afternoon Major Kimblee"_ smiled the Fuhrer with the corners of his face crinkling. _"Beautiful day we're having isn't it?"_

 _"Why yes Sir, it is a beautiful day"_ he'd answered. 

_"Now not all your comrades would say the same you know."_ Continued the Fuhrer. _"They seem to be having a tough time carrying out my orders. You don't though, and we think that makes you the perfect candidate for an exceptional job."_

 _"We?"_ Kimblee had asked.

 _"Yes we"_ answered a snarky voice from behind him where the aide had been standing.

When he turned to meet the aides kind face he was surprised to find the form crackling into something else entirely. Where a soft woman had once stood was now the pale and lean frame of a different person. He took in the sharp face and long jagged hair. The mouth was set sharp and this person matched the biting quality of the voice he'd heard. Kimblee had felt his mouth open in shock before he could hide it. 

_"Surely you didn't think it was just him pulling the strings did you? Or are you also just another stupid human?"_ the newcomer remarked.

 _"Now Envy"_ said the Fuhrer. _"Is that any way to treat our guest? I thought you were better then humans after all"._ Redirecting his attention to Solf he continued his explanation. _"Major Kimblee, this is Envy. They often work with us on important matters where discretion is necessary."_

 _"Yeah thats right! I do jobs you other humans couldn't. See!"_ states Envy as their form changes once again to look exactly like the Soldier who had shot an Ishvalan child and started the conflict. 

_"Ahh, so you are who I have to thank for the wonderful time I'm having"_ remarked Solf politely. _"In any case, thank you for lending Amestris your talents."_

The one called Envy subtly preened at the praise Kimblee had offered. Envy might act like all humans were beneath them but the Crimson Alchemist wasn't typical. He had a love for destruction that possibly rivaled Envy's own.

The Fuhrer chuckled from his place behind the desk and looked at Solf. _"Now Major, as I mentioned before, we think you're the perfect candidate to test out something for us. Our team of scientists have been working on developing an amplifier for Alchemy of sorts. It is highly unstable but we trust you'll be able to handle it."_

Envy casually flips his hand at Solf and tosses him a red stone. Solf smiles, even he recognizes the stone for what it is. He turns back to King Bradley _"Thank you for this opportunity, what exactly would you like me to do?"_

 _"Use it to the best of your ability"_ was all the Fuhrer had smoothly replied. 

Turning to leave it had been Envy who had called out to him. _"Don't you even want to know how we made it?"_

 _"Would it matter if I did?"_ Solf had simply called back nonchalantly over his shoulder and walked out.

He always suspected that he was different from others. This task from the Fuhrer confirmed it. He knew he'd been chosen because where others would have shirked away he only became excited. Based on that fact alone he knew that whatever they did to acquire this stone must be truly terrible and that had made him savor it so much more. 

He'd accomplished incredible amounts of destruction with the stone. It completely allowed him to bypass any laws of equivalent exchange. He alone had turned the battle around leveling entire districts in minutes. It wasn't long before the Fuhrer had contacted him on a secure line. 

_"Those who helped us with our 'project' are going to ask for their research back. They aren't completely aware of what it is. I need you to do a bit more damage with it first. Other than Envy, you, and myself they are the only ones that know about it. I need you to go ahead and wrap those loose ends up for me."_

Solf knew what he had to do. When they'd finally confronted him he'd carried through with the his last task from the Fuhrer, swallowing the stone and obliterating those who sought to take it from him. He knew he would then be targeted by the military but he could enjoy himself for just a bit longer. 

The clanking of a cell door being opened summoned him out of his thoughts. 

_"In you get Kimblee"_ came the voice of the warden behind him. 

_"All this for just me? You shouldn't have"_ Solf asked taking in the empty concrete room with only a cot in the corner and a place to relieve himself in the other. 

Sighing the warden responded. _"No, you shouldn't have blown up an entire team of scientists. But yes this is for you since we can't keep you around others."_

Kimblee takes a moment to admire the mans lack of fear. The warden is right: keeping him with others is out of the question. He would only blow them up after all. He could still make human bombs if he got his hands close enough. The cuffs only prevented him from using his tattoos together. 

_"I always knew I was special"_ Kimblee remarks stepping into his new home. 

_"Well aren't you humble. Don't worry though, we have a lot of special treatment in mind for you"._ The Warden speaks the last part of his thought low and menacing. 

Kimblee feels the stone under his tongue. he could end this mans life but he won't. The Fuhrer -and more importantly Envy- would be upset. He'll wait until summoned. 

Thinking of Envy reminds him again of the woman. He'd spent a great deal of time thinking about her recently. How her pupils had dilated when she'd locked eyes with him. For the first time he wasn't sure if it was from fear or excitement and that intrigued him. She hadn't struggled away when he was pressed against her but she didn't strain closer. Everything about her was stationary, like a shoreline waiting on the tide to return to it. 

Solf lets out a groan of frustration and slams his head back against the wall reveling in the sharp pain it brings. He's thankful for the momentary distraction it brings to get his mind off of her. Not knowing who she is means he's not in control. 


	12. The Laughter of Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under the direction of Colonel Mustang, Micah finds herself traveling to central command to take part in the State Alchemy exam.

_'Bastard'_ Micah writes before showing it to Mustang hoping to get a rise out of him. As usual she only receives his token smirk with an accompanying sarcastic response.

" _Thats 'Colonel Bastard' to you"._

He'd just finished explaining to Micah that she is to take the state exam and become a State Alchemist. She hadn't thought about her Alchemy since leaving Ishval. When Micah had arrived at the Eastern Command with Hughes, he had only spent enough time to get her checked into the barracks and made sure she was settled before departing back to Central. Riza had put through a call to have her assigned under General Grumman and Micah had been content to be a desk jockey for the last several years. It was thankless work, pushing reports and handling the General's scheduling, but it allowed her to learn the in's and out's of the Amestrian military. Micah had easy access to all the information that flowed through the command as she screened it for her superior and eventually passed the more noteworthy items to Mustang. She'd learned many things about the way the country was run as well as her team. 

Mustang's recent promotion to Colonel and transfer to the Central Command was the cause of this new order for her. He explained that effective immediately she was to relocate with his team.  
  
_"You've been wonderful in the background filtering the information that comes through Eastern Command, but I need you up front with me for our next move"_ he'd said.

When she had asked what their 'next move' was Mustang had refused to elaborate. It was rare that he even gave commands to her but this was another one of his orders that was 'non-negotiable'. Mustang was difficult to get a read on, choosing instead to mostly leave Micah to her own and rarely interfere. He almost never pushed rank is but when he did she respected it. She did owe him for his silence about her strange circumstances. Micah didn't particularly like how calculating he was but Riza trusted him, and Riza had always been up-front.

Something had changed though when he and Riza had went to investigate reports of an Alchemists in a small town called Resembool. That was one report that never came across the General's desk -or hers- so Micah assumed their business was kept off books. When Riza and Mustang had come back however, both were tight-lipped about whatever they'd seen there.

 _"The exam consists of three parts"_ Mustang had said. _"A_ _written portion, psychological examination, and a practical. Y_ _ou need to pass all three. You were exempt from the physical portion of the exam on account of your already active military status."_

 _'My muteness won't be an issue?'_ Micah had wrote while her hand drifted unconsciously to her throat.

_"No, I have already informed medical and received a waiver since it doesn't affect your mental capabilities. It's assumed a war injury due to the scar on your throat"._

_'So he'd noticed it'_ Micah thought to herself. She'd been careful to hide it. Not out of shame -but because of the strange circumstance that led to it. He was right about the scar. Micah hadn't noticed it until she had looked in the mirror on the train to Eastern all those years ago. She surmised it must have come from the stranger who had wrapped his hand around her throat. It had healed instantaneously but the skin had been pale and in the distinct shape of a hand print. It seemed that whatever the man had done hadn't allowed the skin to heal without scarring. Micah typically kept it covered since it generated too many comments or questions -it was easy since the uniform shirt collar came up so high. 

_"You'll need to study hard for the written exam. There is a great deal of theoretical questions. Also, while you're studying theory, you'll need to come up with something else to display other than your ability to heal. We need to keep that from the top -it will raise a lot of unpleasant attention if discovered."_ continued Mustang. 

_'What else am I supposed to do? I don't know anything else. I am not even sure how I am able to do what I can now.'_ Micah wrote out and looked at him pointedly.

 _"You will have to figure that out yourself"_ Mustang remarked. _"I trust you will find something suitable. You are more talented than you let on"_ was all he said. 

Micah frowned in displeasure as she wrote her response out to him.

_'I hope I don't disappoint you then ' Colonel Bastard'. I will go and pack my things up and prepare to transfer to the barracks in Central then."_

She watched his eyes move across her message and he snorted when he read over the title she gave him.

 _'You'll have to make other living arrangements I am afraid"_ he said. _"Central Commands barracks are full. Besides, when you become a State Alchemist you won't be allowed to reside there anyway"._

Micah looked at him in shock and started panicking. She had never been to Central Command before. Really, she hadn't left East city more than a handful of times since she arrived. Hastily she scribbled her next message and thrust the paper in Mustang's face. 

' _Where am I supposed to stay then while I prepare for the exam?! I don't know anything about Central.'_

Mustang looked up at her and Micah became nervous when he let out a dark chuckle.

_"In my wonderful foresight as you Commanding Officer, I made arrangements for you. The address is on the top stack of your orders. You shouldn't have too much difficulty getting there as its only a few blocks from the train station. Safe travels."_

Taking hold of the papers Mustang held out to her, she looked at the neat script of the address relieved to see the thorough but short directions under it. With such a short transit from the station she wasn't likely to get lost. Shaking her head at Mustang she turns to walk out becoming more suspicious as his chuckles deepen into outright laughter when his office door shuts. 

In the hall Micah waves at Riza who is carrying what looks like another dry military report several hundred sheets thick. She can't help it and gestures towards the office where passerby's can still hear the laughter echoing out. She lifts her eyebrows at Riza in hope.

 _"It sounds like he's having entirely too much fun in there. He must not be doing his paperwork. I_ _should make sure he receives this new report and reviews it. THOROUGHLY."_ Riza notes with a wink at Micah. _"I'll see you in Central"_ she says with a chuckle before heading into the Colonels office. 

Micah is just rounding the corner when she hears the laughter turn to the distinct grumbling of complaining. This time she is the one laughing. 

* * *

_"Hey how are you doing?! it's been quite a while! Meet my wife Gracia and my daughter Elicia! We're happy to have you!"_

_'God-damn him'_ Micah thinks picturing Mustang's smug face in her mind. He'd arranged for her to stay with Hughes. Mentally sighing she rearranges her face into a smile. She really liked Hughes but he could be a bit much sometimes from what she remembered. Micah couldn't fault the man for how exuberant he was. It just came naturally to him. 

_"Gracia, Micah is here!"_ he shouted over his shoulder. _"Well come on in! Here let me get your bags and I will show you to the spare room."_

Grabbing hold of her bags he turns and Micah follows him into the apartment. She makes it about three steps in before a soft tugging at her uniform has her attention. Looking down she sees a small girl with wide eyes and a cherubic face. 

_"Big sister?"_ says the small child. 

Hughes kneels down and scoops the small girl into his arms as she squeals. _"Ow daddy your beard hurts!"_

 _"Now now my darling little Elicia, this is Micah. She's going to stay with us for a little bit. Now she doesn't use the same words as us but she can still have lots of fun with you!"_ he tells his daughter as she tries to wiggle free. _"Now tell Micah hello"_ he commands while tickling the small child. 

_"Hiiiiii!"_ Giggles Elicia with glee before finally managing to get free.

 _"Now whats all this commotion out here"_ comes a kind voice. Micah watches as a sweet woman emerges from the kitchen wiping her hands on her apron before scooping up the newly free Elicia. 

_"Daddy said big sister is gonna stay here!"_ she says smiling up at her mother and tugging gently at the older woman's hair. 

_"You must be Micah, I'm Gracia. Nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you from Maes"_

Micah grabs her every-present notebook and paper and writes out her greeting. _'I am pleased to meet you! I feel like I have known you forever, Hughes always spoke about you."_

Gracia laughs as she reads Micahs words. _"I hope it was only good things"_

 _'The very best! He was happiest only when he was speaking of you'_ Micah writes. 

Gracia's face lights up at Micah's words. _"Well that it certainly good to hear! Now Micah please make yourself at home. Maes will show you the guest room. The bathroom is across the hall if you want to freshen up. I am sure the journey from Eastern was quite long."_

Nodding at her Micah follows Hughes down the hall already planning on a shower and fresh change of clothes.

Hughes sets down her bags and turns to her grinning. Micah notes that the smile doesn't completely reach his eyes and gestures to him eyebrows pulling together inquisitively. 

_"I'm alright. We really are thrilled to have you staying with us! Just seeing you in the doorway -barely changed from all those days ago when we found you- it brings the memories of Ishval rushing back. I promised myself that when I returned home, I would swallow every horrible thing I did there and I would smile when I'm with Gracia. Some days it's just more difficult than others."_

Micah nods understandingly and claps her hand on Hughes shoulder in solidarity. She knows his concern too well -she'd been feeling uneasy ever since Mustang had returned from Resembool. 

_"Gracia is making apple pie -her specialty!"_ Hughes offers trying to lighten the mood. Micah's mouth allows the widest smile it can manage and she pumps her fist in the air. She loved sweets and rarely allowed herself them. She mimes showering at Hughes and he flashes her a thumbs up as he goes to find his wife and daughter. She know's he's found Elicia by her delighted squeal carrying through the apartment. 

Sighing Micah gathers what she needs and pads into the bathroom making quick work of her uniform allowing it to pool on the floor after starting the shower. She's delighted to find the water scorching and wastes no time getting in. Micah feels the only time she can ever really relax is when showering. The warm steam allowed the tight scarred skin on her shoulders to relax and the scent of her favorite lavender soap always soothed her.

She doesn't linger in the shower for long. The smells of fresh bread and cinnamon waft in through the vents signaling to her dinner is nearly ready. Drying quickly and dressing in a turtleneck top and loose trousers she only pauses briefly to look in the mirror. It's only been a few years since she ended up here but her eyes lend the age her years don't. She -like many soldiers- had the look of one who's seen too much in life. Her hair was longer than when she first arrived but not by much. She was still keeping it closely cropped having found she liked the ease of maintaining it compared to her previously waist length locks.

Now it was just long enough to run fingers through but not enough to grab. Micah found her gaze wandering to her throat as it always did when confronted with her reflection to stare at the pale hand shaped scar on her throat. She lifts her hands to trace the outline of the palm. It was almost beautiful in a way -as much a mystery to her as to any who managed to accidentally see it. 

_'I wonder what his deal was. I didn't even know him...That man meant to hurt me but couldn't...'_ she thought to herself welling with pride.

She was satisfied even someone like that couldn't hurt her now. Deep down she knew she should be furious or scared that a stranger tried to kill he but she felt herself undeserving of life and even had sickly harbored an urge to find out who the man was. The only thing that stopped her was the worry that too many questions would be asked if she started looking.

 _"Piiiiiiie mommmmmy!"_ comes the shrill voice of a child from down the hall.

Shaking herself from her thoughts she gathers her things to put them away and goes to join the Hughes family for dinner. 

* * *

Dinner was a pleasant affair. Micah had quickly found herself enjoying Elicia and Hughes' antics as Gracia had tried to settle them down. Eventually Gracia won and carried a tired Elicia off to bed. Micah found herself at the table enjoying the rare cigarette with Hughes as she filled him in on the issues she was having with only a month until the exam. 

_"So Roy expects you to become a State Alchemist just like that with no time to prepare huh? I told you he could be a royal bastard sometimes"_ said Hughes. 

_"Not a royal bastard just a Colonel one."_ came the voice of Mustang from the hall startling them both. 

Micah couldn't help it and silently chuckled along with Hughes' loud laugh.

 _"Why are you here?_ Hughes chortled. _"Where is Riza?"_

 _"Unfortunately she had some personal matters to attend to and sends her regards"_ grins Mustang. 

_"Probably on a hot date right Roy?! Speaking of when are you going to find yourself a good wife?"_ Hughes gently ribs at the other man.

 _"No! She's well.. She's doing something -I don't know!"_ Mustang huffs.

Micah can't help but laugh as Mustang becomes visibly flustered and casts his gaze at the floor. _'Serves him right'_ she thinks. 

_"Well pull up a chair and join us then Roy. Gracia made apple pie, let me get you some!"_ chimes Hughes as he surrenders his seat to Mustang and heads to the kitchen. 

Mustang waits until Hughes rounds the corner to the kitchen before speaking. _"I trust your trip was uneventful?"_ he asks waiting for Micah's nod before continuing. 

_"Thats good to hear. I hope you used that time to read the notes I lent you and figure out what you could demonstrate for the practical exam?:"_

Micah writes out her answer. She had spent the entire time studying but was having a difficult time wrapping her head around how her alchemy was different. For starters she'd learned that her tattoo was both a combination of Alchemy and Alkehestry. That in itself posed some difficulties. 

Having been given the instruction to keep her regenerative ability a secret she believed she'd found a way to work around it. Information on Alkehestry was rare to find in Amestris but from what she'd gathered it was in its most basic form the restructuring of energy to engage cells in the body which resulted in healing properties. Utilizing this knowledge she had made a plan on what to demonstrate for the exam. 

Hughes rejoins them just as she is finished writing out her plan. Exchanging her paper for the plate of apple pie Hughes has brought Mustang she tucks into it and watches their reactions while they read. Mustangs lips curl up in a smug smile while Hughes' eyes light up and he begins to laugh. _"I cant wait to see Armstrong's reaction"_ chortles Hughes.

Micah allows herself a sigh of relief knowing that she has the approval to move forward with her plan. 

**Author's Note:**

> **PS: I have never wrote anything to share before so I am sorry**


End file.
